Fairytales Slashed Read online

  "Make the most of the contacts," Meg mused thoughtfully. She pulled the second glove over Lotte's wrist and then buttoned it triumphantly. Her gaze met Lotte's. "I know what you could do. Find the lady who seems most similar to you. If you give that lady your attention and promise favours, the others will notice. When they see they're missing out on something by being rude to you, they will follow suit. Nobody wants to miss out on royal favours," Meg said with confidence.

  Nobody wanted to miss out on royal favours. It sounded like a good idea, but Lotte was still doubtful. Lady Helene and Jacqueline still wore that slightly off fashion clothing, but that didn't strike Lotte as being similar to her. In fact, Meg made quite sure now to dress Lotte in such a way that it was never her clothing that stood her out against the others. It wasn't until halfway through that day's luncheon—with Corina, Elizabeth and Tatiana gossiping on their side of the table as had become usual—that Lotte realised there was a girl sitting halfway between Lotte and the three ladies looking almost as uncomfortable at lunch as Lotte felt.

  "Be brave," Lotte whispered to herself.

  After lunch was finished, there was a free moment before Ms Stockard would take up their next lesson. Lotte took that opportunity to cross the room to where Annette was sitting alone on one of the chaises.

  "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've spoken before." Lotte extended her gloved hand to the other lady in greeting.

  "Your Majesty." The girl stood to meet her, as though surprised at being singled out. "My apologies. My name is Lady Annette."

  "Very pleased to meet you, Annette. I would be very flattered if you would call me Lotte."

  Annette's face relaxed into a flattered smile and she quickly agreed. Lotte tried to match the smile without it looking too forced, then raised her voice just a little louder so that it would be heard—and then hopefully spread around—by the ladies nearest to them.

  "I would be flattered if you would sit next to me during luncheon tomorrow."

  Lotte maintained eye contact with Annette, hopeful that the other girl would not embarrass her by refusing outright and publicly.

  With a little look around the room herself, Annette grasped onto what Lotte was doing and lifted her voice just the same. "I would be honoured, Your Majesty." Annette completed the small showing with a quick dip of a curtsey, nothing like what she was used to from Meg—Annette was far closer to her in station—but it was noted nonetheless. The small silence that had descended at Lotte's words ended as muttered conversations started around them, continuing until Ms Stockard took their attention again.

  Lotte smiled, so glad that Meg's suggestion had not somehow turned horribly wrong, and then said, far softer this time, "Thank you."

  "No, thank you," Annette said gratefully. "I was starting to worry I wouldn't get to know anyone at all during this tutelage."

  "Why ever not?" Lotte asked, with a look across the room at where the other ladies were clumped in separate conversations. Her gaze came back to Annette. "Everyone here has been so friendly."

  Annette gave a short titter of a laugh. "I think I have some disgruntled farmers at home who are just as friendly," she said.

  "See," Lotte said, as though they'd both been making this far harder than it needed to be. "You're already well-practiced in how to receive such friendliness."

  "My mistake, Princess," Annette said, obviously more relaxed from this conversation. "How kind of you to remind me."

  *~*~*

  Lotte was almost giddy when she got to share the news with Meg that night. Meg was biting her cheek in an effort not to smile.

  "What?" Lotte asked, quirking a smile of her own.

  "Nothing," Meg said, only a little bit arch and all too confident that she wouldn’t get in trouble for outright lying to her princess.

  "I don't mean to sound so shallow," Lotte said, blushing as she guessed the reason for Meg's smile. She almost wondered how it had become so important to her, but then, it was obvious. "It's just, after all this time, actually feeling like I'm doing something right… And you… It wouldn't have happened at all if it weren't for you."

  "That isn't true, Lotte," Meg said, tipping her head to the side doubtfully. "You would have come up with it on your own."

  "Yes. The day after all the girls went back to their own provinces, probably," Lotte admitted ruefully.

  Prince Phillip opened the bedroom door, cutting short the conversation between princess and lady's maid. For a change, Kenneth wasn't standing behind him. He came to kneel in front of Lotte, taking her hands and seemingly heedless of Meg's quick step aside to make room.

  "My princess, Lotte, I'm so sorry. My father and I still have quite a bit of work to do. I'm going to sleep in my own quarters tonight so I need not wake you when I come in."

  Lotte had to acknowledge that Phillip did look apologetic. But still, it was the first whole night since their wedding that she would spend alone. Lotte lowered her eyes, not sure whether this signalled a further estrangement between them, or whether it would be for this night only.

  In either case, there was only one reasonable way for her to reply. "Of course, my prince. I understand."

  Prince Phillip smiled, relieved by the amicable nature of her response. "I am glad. I promise I will make it up to you." He lifted the back of Lotte's hand to his lips, kissing it as he stood. With just a curt nod to Meg and a stiff, regal back, the prince exited the room as abruptly as he'd entered.

  Left alone with Meg once more, Lotte wasn't quite sure how to proceed. It was pointless, she realised now. It wasn't that he was avoiding her, but the situation between them was never going to change. His work was such that he would never be able to dedicate more time to her. She was never going to feel the way she wanted to about him because he wouldn’t be able to give her the attention she wanted from him.

  As if sensing this discomfiture, Meg stepped forward and returned a favour Lotte had offered her once before. "Would you like for me to brush out your hair?"

  Lotte's gaze flashed up gratefully from where she sat, slightly slumped now. Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, Lotte reached before her for the comb and handed it back to her lady's maid. "Thank you, Meg. I would like that very much."

  "You're very welcome," Meg said, looking up to meet Lotte's eyes again, and then looking away. "Lotte."

  Somehow, in the intimacy of her bedroom—and coming so soon after her husband's rejection—something about Meg's softly spoken use of her name struck her in a way it hadn't before. She couldn't quite remember where they'd been in their conversation leading up to Phillip's intrusion; something to do with her etiquette training, but it just didn't seem as important now.

  "Tell me," Lotte asked with longing. "Tell me about your days when I'm at etiquette lessons. I want to hear about it. Every mundane detail."

  Meg looked up to Lotte again and nodded with an understanding that Phillip just couldn't share. "There are always things in the palace that need doing, just like in any home, I would imagine." She passed the comb fondly through Lotte's long hair several more times as she outlined her days, placing the comb back on the dresser when she finished. As Meg reached around her, Lotte stood and drew her hair forward over one shoulder. Meg stood behind her and started unclasping the buttons of her dress, starting at the nape of her neck and ending near her hips.

  For a while, the two women didn't speak. Lotte could see Meg's face in the mirror if she tilted her head to the side. Like their conversation, this was an intimacy she didn't share with Phillip. She was content to watch Meg, observing the way she bit her lip, caught in some thought Lotte didn't have access to, every so often feeling the brush of a finger against the skin of her back. As she watched, Meg's gaze lifted to the mirror and Lotte found herself staring her friend in the eyes. She felt like she should look away, pretend not to have been caught, and not mention it again. But she couldn't bring herself to. Her lips parted under Meg's eyes, and then she saw Meg look to Lotte's mouth.

  It was that,
rather than anything else, that made Lotte look away from the mirror, unable to believe her audacity. She was married. A princess. And yet…

  Meg had paused in undressing her and didn't seem certain of how to go on.

  "I—"Meg blanched, clamping her mouth shut. She closed her eyes then looked at Lotte again, taking a very deliberate step back from her. "I apologise," she said. There hardly seemed any emotion in the words; maybe that was the only way she could get the words out. "If you require another lady's maid, I will understand."

  "Meg, no!" Lotte turned around, reaching out to grab her by the upper arms as though she might simply disappear before Lotte had had a chance to say what she needed to say. "Sometimes I feel you're the only friend I have in the palace."

  It wasn't exactly what she wanted to say but, as soon as it was out, Lotte realised how true it was. Sometimes living in the palace, going to etiquette training… it was like having a step-mother and sisters again. Meg's company gave her a reprieve from loneliness that Phillip's didn't.

  Meg, for her part, looked just as surprised as Lotte at this admission. Lotte squared her shoulders and let go of Meg's arms.

  "I mean…" Lotte swallowed, trying to bring down her intensity. She didn't want to scare Meg away. "I feel like I've gone from one unfriendly home into another. You say things that… You're always kind to me, Meg."

  That endearing little blush that Lotte had noticed before rose up on Meg's cheeks. She seemed happy at the compliment, though at the same time her eyes seemed troubled.

  "Please don't go," Lotte said, her voice almost a whisper.

  She watched as Meg swallowed then said, "I won't. I promise."

  *~*~*

  Lotte almost didn't remember the night before when she woke up in the bed alone, so used to waking up by herself. As she wiped the sleep from the corners of her eyes, it all came back to her: Phillip's announcement of work, Meg's undressing her, the conversation that had happened. And Meg's promise not to leave her.

  As the servant girl walked into her room and pulled open the curtains to let the morning sun into the room, Lotte realised that she believed more in Meg's loyalty towards her than in her husband's. "Good morning, Lotte." Meg looked shy as she turned towards the bed where Lotte sat with her rumpled hair falling over her shoulders. With a look that was almost coy, Lotte pushed the bed covers aside and stood, her off-white bed dress loose around her.

  An undefinable something passed between them every time their digits touched, or eyes met as Meg dressed her for the day. Lotte found herself smiling more than she felt like she'd smiled ever since she'd been married.

  "If you didn't have to work within the palace, or send money back to your family, what would you want to do?" Lotte asked her.

  Meg smiled, shaking her head. "I don't know. I've never even thought about it. I suppose… I do enjoy sewing when I get the chance. I suppose I'd be good at embroidery, but that's a pastime for a lady, not just a servant." Her eyes lowered at the word 'servant', as though it pained her to be reminded of the difference in their stations.

  Lotte reached around and took her hand. "I don't see you as 'just a servant'. Far from it."

  *~*~*

  She was still thinking of Meg during etiquette training, in between taking instruction from Ms Stockard and making sure to show Annette her favour. Nothing so very different happened on that first day but the next, Lady Elizabeth came over to where they were sitting in the break between luncheon and afternoon tea.

  "May I sit with you?" she asked.

  Lotte looked from Elizabeth to Annette in surprise.

  "Of course," she said, loath to turn away anyone willing to approach. She did her best to hide her surprise at this sudden development. "We haven't yet had the chance to speak. It's… Elizabeth, isn't it?"

  Forgetting their etiquette lessons, Elizabeth bobbed her head several times, clearly happy to find that Lotte knew her name. The harsh whispering she had been a part of during the lessons until this point didn't seem to factor into her behaviour. "Yes, Your Majesty!"

  Lotte let the moment draw out for a while before turning her face away to reach towards the teapot she and Annette had been sharing. "Tea?" she offered.

  She watched as Annette gave a knowing, slightly more reserved smile.

  It didn't go unnoticed by Tatiana or Corina that they were down one in number. Nor did it go unnoticed by the other girls. By the next day, Lady Helene and another lady by the name of Juliet had found their way to where Lotte and Annette sat and, soon enough, Lotte found herself holding an unexpected court.

  Even more surprisingly, she noticed approval in the way that Ms Stockard looked at her, as well as a thawing in the reception she received from the queen in the mornings.

  "How would you feel about inviting a small number of the young ladies to breakfast with us?" she asked to Lotte one morning.

  "Oh." Lotte wondered how Annette, and shy Juliet, would take to that. She imagined the news would be quite exciting to Elizabeth. "Yes, that would be alright."

  "Tomorrow morning, then," decided the queen. "Make sure to mention it today. I'll prepare the kitchen servants."

  From that breakfast on, every lady soon wanted to sit by Lotte, even if, with Corina and Tatiana, it was grudgingly. Ms Stockard organised with Lotte to change her seating at the table so that she was in the middle rather than the end. This way, there were fewer whispers to which she wasn’t privy.

  Lotte had never felt so out of place in her life. It was more than just getting through etiquette lessons. This was what it was to be a princess. When it had been about shopping and greeting townspeople with Meg at her side, Lotte had thought this was something she could do. But she hadn't thought so far ahead as to what it would mean to have ladies currying her favour. She hadn't considered how separate those ladies would make her feel from Meg.

  There were no high spirits between Meg and Lotte that night, no congratulations of a plan well-made or carried out. Lotte couldn't find it in herself to feel proud of the way she'd manipulated the other ladies, or the boons it seemed to have won her.

  If Meg noticed she was quieter that night than usual, she didn't press her about it. Once Kenneth relayed the message that the prince would once again be absent from the bedroom and Meg finished getting Lotte ready for bed, she hovered by the bedside when she would usually have made her exit.

  "Stay, please." Lotte smiled up at her friend—as that was what Meg had long since become—and patted the bed beside her.

  With a smile that was halfway between hesitation and relief, Meg accepted the invitation to sit. Lotte sighed, leaning her head against Meg's shoulder. Meg's hand lifted reflexively and started draw through the recently brushed hair.

  "If only everything about being a princess was as easy as it seems when I'm around you," Lotte said, finally opening up.

  Meg's fingers paused, halfway through the length of Lotte's hair, before resuming their passage. "How do you mean?" she asked.

  After another little sigh, Lotte brought her up to date on the events of the day, followed by how they made her feel. When she had finished, Meg's lips were thin, and she took great pains not to meet Lotte's gaze.

  Coming outside of her own problems, Lotte reached up and took Meg's wrist loosely in hers. "Meg? What's wrong? Why won't you look at me?"

  "It's just…" Meg looked at Lotte, her expression pained before she looked away again. She dropped both of her hands—Lotte let go her wrist abruptly—and Meg shrugged moodily. "Don't you hear how you sound?" she asked, shuffling herself a little bit away from Lotte to give them some distance.

  "What do you mean?" Lotte asked, baffled.

  "Have you forgotten so soon where you came from? How it could sound, day after day, to hear you complaining about the other girls? Do you know how easy you have it?" Meg asked.

  Lotte's jaw dropped. "I don't—" she said, then cutting herself off before she could say something more to offend Meg. "I don't mean—"

  "You don't mean anyth
ing by it, I know." Meg stood up, but her expression was exasperated. "You ask me what I do when you're at etiquette lessons, or what I would like to do, and that's more than any other lady has ever asked me. You haven't heard how Ladies Elizabeth or Corina speak to me."

  "What?" Lotte asked, standing too. "What have they said?"

  Meg shook her head, putting her hands up as if to ward Lotte away. "Why? What are you going to say? Are you going to go to the queen?"

  "Well…" Lotte started. This wasn't exactly the time to speak to Meg about her suspicions that the queen was, in her own way, trying to help support Lotte by suggesting favours she could offer to the other ladies, or by inviting them to the palace in the first place. "No."

  Meg shook her head. "Even Annette, who I know is the only lady you can stand, stopped me yesterday morning in the hall and insisted I stop what I was doing to clean a garment of hers that had got a spot on it during breakfast."

  "Meg…" Lotte's face fell, even as she tried to reconcile the Annette she knew with the version Meg was describing. "Why wouldn't you tell me that?"

  Meg didn't seem to have an answer. She just shook her head again, looking as though it was a struggle not to cry.

  Lotte reached out and took Meg's hands very gently. Meg blinked several times before looking up at Lotte cautiously.

  "None of them matter to me," Lotte said with a small shake of her head. "Not like you do. I would rather be a full time kitchen hand with you and the cook who's like a mother to you than having tea and making my way through petty politics. I would rather have any other purpose in my life than placating those spoiled ladies who, between them, have no idea what it is to do even one day's real work."

  Meg let out a small, watery laugh and Lotte laughed with her, rubbing the other girl's hands with her thumbs.

  "You know," she said, "I would have far rather met you without all of this around us."